This guide introduces the complete process of "paying tribute" in a funeral, including arrival, bowing, offering incense, paying tribute to the family, laying flowers and leaving etiquette. The content is based on a non-religious perspective and includes explanations of the differences between Christianity, Buddhism, and Taoism, making it easier for relatives and friends participating in vigils and funerals to follow the etiquette.
1. Arrival process (vigil/funeral)
- 1. Go to the funeral parlour entrance: Keep quiet and wait in line depending on the flow of people.
- 2. Register signature: Sign the condolence book/electronic signature.
- 3. Wear white flowers/filial piety badges: Provided by the library (if any).
- 4. Turn off the ringtone of your mobile phone: Avoid disturbing the ritual.
- 5. Wait for staff to arrange admission: Avoid walking into the mourning hall by yourself.
2. Etiquette when entering the mourning hall
- Slow down and be quiet.
- Go to pay your respects in front of the deceased photo.
- Bow/Offer incense:
- Non-religious: Bow once or three times.
- Christianity/Catholicism: Bow, no incense.
- Buddhism: One or three sticks of incense + three bows.
- Taoism: Three sticks are used to burn incense, and the ritual is followed by bowing or kneeling.
- Do not take photos/videos:Unless specifically requested by the family.
3. Greetings to the family (most important)
When expressing condolences, the focus is to be "succinct, calm, and considerate" and avoid forcing family members to respond.
- "My condolences." (most commonly used)
- "Please take care of yourself."
- "If you need anything, let me know."
- It is not appropriate to ask family members about sensitive matters such as cause of death, medical details, inheritance issues, end-of-life conversations, etc.
- It is not appropriate to say sentences such as: "Is he walking well?", "How would you explain it?", "I would have known..." and other sentences.
4. Procedures for offering sacrifices (the most standard process)
- 1. Stand facing the deceased photo
- 2. Bow once/three times
- 3. Incense (if religious)
- 4. Silence for about 3–5 seconds
- 5. Bow gently again
- 6. Congratulations to the family
- 7. Leave in sequence without blocking the channel
The gestures of offering sacrifices do not need to be overly dramatic, but should be calm and natural.
5. Procedure on the day of funeral (simplified version)
- 1. Assemble/Seat down
- 2. The host (master of ceremonies/priest/mage) starts the ceremony
- 3. Pay homage/chanting/prayer/moment of silence
- 4. Final regards from relatives and friends
- 5. Transfer the spirit (send the spirit)
- 6. Go to the crematorium/cemetery
6. Religious Differences (Quick Reference)
| Religion | Incense | Bow | Features |
|---|---|---|---|
| Non-religious | × | ✔(1–3 times) | Simple and quiet |
| Christianity/Catholicism | × | ✔ | Prayer, hymn |
| Buddhist | ✔ | ✔ (three bows) | Chanting sutras and teachings |
| Taoist | ✔ | ✔ | Simplify rituals and pray three times |
Customs vary between families and faiths; follow the bereaved family’s wishes. Check the relevant government department for current procedures, fees and application requirements.
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